Modern day Shakespeare

To cry, or not to cry-- that is the question:
whether 'tis nobler to hold it in
and prove myself strong
or let it out, this pain held in for so long.
And by letting it out, to cry, to weep--
No more, inside this pain so deep.
The heartache, and the mournful cries.
That flesh inside, it suffers and dies.
Devoutly to be wished. To cry, to weep--
to weep--per chanced to die,
aye, there's the comparison,
for in that weep, that my heart is in,
When we have shuffled off this mortal pain,
the pain is still, yet very insane
that makes holding it in so hard for me
for the weights of time, how painful they can be.
The witnesses thoughts, so vial it seems.
The hurt I feel is in his dreams.
The beatings from inside, and the gain,
I myself can't obtain.
For when I find myself in this state
with a sorrow? who would make.
To sigh and hurt under a weary strife,
I get nothing but pain from this life.
But the dread of hurt for tomorrow's day,
the undiscovered hurt, coming my way.
No return my strength, after my cry.
The strength that will forever die.
Than to hold it in, the pain I know of?
Thus, does make a coward of my love.
And thus the raw and suffering
is forcing a cry within my being.
And living in the moment still
with this pain, is it my will?
With this though, I turn away,
and hold in the pain for today-- cry you how,
Oh the pain!-- in thy heart will remain the same. 

the ugly person

I see that mask, the one you wear,
don't bother asking me why I stare.
The one your wrapped around your head
because you lost your humanity, you've gone dead.
Go ahead and play it fake
putting on that thing was your biggest mistake.
you are now lost behind that ugly mask
and pretending to be you will be your biggest task
You put it on with your head held high,
as I watched a part of you die.
That mask I have to look at you don't see
the ugly person you have come to be

The Monster in Me

It's taking control. It's inside of me.
Don't make it mad or set it free.
Allow it to rest and don't let it wake
for that will be your biggest mistake.

Don't try to save me for it is within
its deep beneath my bruised up skin.
It holds me hostage from deep inside,
it brings out the me that I try to hide.

When it comes out, a truth shines through
a side of me that you thought you knew.
Just leave it alone, and let it be.
Don't agitate the monster in me.

I've Tried

Robbed from the experiences that I'll never get.
Sitting here wishing, and full of regret.
They've given up on me, they don't know what to do.
They've lost the girl that they once knew.
He wasn't just my dad, he was my best friend.
How was I supposed to know that his life would end?
Staying strong for others, while I am dying inside.
Driven to depression, and suicide.
Pretending isn't helpful, it's just getting by
strength is being able to cry.
Not allowing myself to get rid of this pain,
for without it the memories wont be the same.
Barley scratching the surface of this tragedy
for not getting over it, they are mad at me.
I too want this pain to subside,
trust me its very hard, I know because I've tried.

Consistency

All the chaos that surrounds me,
my one consistency is you.
My thoughts are bound by your smile,
and they can't evade what you put me through.

I cling to the hope that when you are near,
you feel the same impression that I do.
The impression for my need,
and knowing that what I want is you.

When you leave my side,
in my thoughts you manage to falter.
You give me a break from the insanity,
My hectic life you seem to alter. 

Long

I am lost in a memory that wont seem to heal
and stuck in a moment that seems so unreal.
Sad enough that I hurt inside,
with not enough strength to help it subside.
Floating through life as if I was dead,
and holding onto myself by a thread.
I am slipping apart through my own seems
and forgetting what this life even means.
Stuck on pause while the world moves on,
wondering why healing is taking me this long.

BLEH....

He holds my strength, he gets me through
You hold my happiness, a smile that is true.
He has been here forever, what a long time to stay.
You are brand new, something to freshen up my day.
He is what I need, what is best for me.
You're what I want, what I hope will come to be.
He's shown me loyalty, by my side he staid true
You've shown me a hard worker, a man inside you.